i miss you. so much.
i can't just sit here writing about you with a straight face.
i remember when i used to sit on your lap all the time.
i remember when you'd carry me everywhere you go, and all i could feel was the tickle
from your 5 o'clock shadow.
i remember when i'd climb in between you and mom before bed, and i'd never felt so safe.
i remember you'd play 'this little piggy' with me when i was upset or disconsolate.
i remember when you would be the only one who would watch blue's clue's with me.
i remember you'd bring chocolates whenever you came home from work.
and that one memory i'll never forget, was when me you and mom went to a dinner party. and when it was time to dance, you grabbed me and put me in between your
guys' chests. i danced with you. we were so happy.

then i remember seeing you in the hospital.
i still remember what mom said. "Gary.. it's us. your family"
i said a faint 'hi daddy'
then we left mom for privacy.

and i remember mom was carrying me.
i remember she was making a speech.
i remember her crying.
i remember seeing the candles in the church.
i remember seeing you. for the last time.
so pale and still.

it's been 13 years,
and im still coping with you being gone..
i love you.

"And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day"